With Reyes, The Cards At Least Hold An Ace-High In Their Hands
This offseason I'm going to recap sixteen-after-twenty, then I'll go over the best rookies for next year, then I'll go into sleepers and, finally, the new rankings. Holy crap! We're already at the...
View ArticleCloser Report: Over? Did You Say Over?
What is a finale in fantasy without a final closer report? Nothing I tell ya. It's like a compound without an element, or a really cool shout out to the Low End Theory. I salute the 14 sober readers...
View ArticleThe 8th Annual Razzballies
Welcome back for another star-studded event! Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of 'star' with "guy who lives in his mom's basement and screams when...
View ArticleCouch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft Recap, Rounds 1-6
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year's baseball season ended, but now I'm back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy...
View ArticleCouch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft Recap, Rounds 13-18
Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be...
View Article2017 Fantasy Baseball Closer Rankings
I think this will conclude this year's rankings for all players, but with the way closer roles can change between now and Spring Training, finishing will be bountiful. There seems to be a big...
View ArticleCloser Report: Dual Overhead Cam
Surprise. Huston Street is already injured and being replaced by someone who isn't the full measure or picture of health in Cam Bedrosian. Cam is the goods, it is just a matter of him grabbing that...
View ArticleI Will Start 4 2
I'm not a woman. I'm not a man. I am something that you refer to as Fantasy Master Lothario. I'll never beat you (except in fantasy, that is my pledge). I'll never lie (except about how much I once...
View ArticleYas & Joc Go Rock & Jock On Friar Suck
When did Opening Day for the Padres become a laugher? Was it when Corey Seager (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) homered off Christian Bethancourt? You might remember Bethancourt was a catcher last year, but the...
View ArticleCloser Report, Week 1: A’s Get a “D” For Diversity
It was right in front of our faces and we ignored it. No one said the obvious. The elephant in the room. We all should have known that we were getting fooled by the A's because we trusted a Melvin....
View ArticleFreeman Hits Ball 40 Acres And Runs Like A Mule
I wonder if Freddie Freeman has Fletch-like dreams where he pictures himself with a huge afro and his name is Freddie World B. Freeman. "He's actually 6-5, with the afro, 6-9. Pretty good hands,...
View ArticleCloser Report: Philly’s Blunt, Time For Pat
The worst news in terms of closers, especially in a situation like Philadelphia, is the word: committee. I mean, it is kind of like getting free tickets to see the Village People, hell yes they are...
View ArticleOne If By Land, Three If By Seager
Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, "Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers." Manfred's secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats. Their leader steps...
View ArticlePoints Leagues: Great Britton
Okay, if I'm being honest, what I've attempted to do in this post is completely experimental. While based on statistics it's really just a wild attempt to calculate which closers are bringing home the...
View ArticleNat Turner’s Treabellion
You wanna know frustration? Of course, you do. You play fantasy baseball! We've chosen a hobby that is the least relaxing hobby possible. May as well have a hobby of picking cheese off mousetraps....
View ArticleCloser Report, Week 9 – Jazzy Jeff And Will The Thrill
Situations arise all the time with closers. Injuries occur, poor performance, and then the return of the incumbent. In the preseason, Will Smith was the guy the Brewers had tabbed as the closer....
View ArticleCloser Report, Week 11 – Perkins? Should Have Went to Shoney’s
The save buffet line in Minnesota is becoming a tiresome "wait-and-see who gets the chance today". We all sit there and wait to own all the bullpen condiments that they offer, whether it be Brandon...
View ArticleCloser Report, Week 13: My Father The Fish
So this year, like so many before, the closer trade market is always an interesting cocktail mixer of events that shake things up. The Padres waited to be first, which makes zero sense... but also...
View ArticleRazznasty League Update: Can’t Truss It!!
Sometimes you ask and you shall receive and in that vein, I begin this month's Razznasty update. Now I know the two questions you're asking, what did you ask for and receive? And which vein? First,...
View ArticleCloser Report: Second Half Rankings
I am always a day late and a buck short on the posts because I am relegated to be the Saturday morning cartoon of the Razzball variety. No worries, I mean, who doesn't love 80's cartoons and can't...
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